I have clean it up a bit. I think that you may be able
to put the bad words in the spots that they were at. They
made it sound tougher.

BUSH'S RESIGNATION SPEECH

The following 'speech' was written
recently by an ordinary Maine-iac [a resident of the People's
Republic of Maine]. While satirical in nature, all satire must have
a basis in fact to be effective. This is an excellent piece by a
person who does not write for a living.

The speech George W. Bush might give:

Normally, I start these things out by saying 'My Fellow Americans.
I am not doing it this time. If the polls are any indication,
I don't know who more than half of you are anymore.
I do know something terrible has happened, and that
you're really not fellow Americans any longer.

I'll cut right to the chase here:
I quit.
Now before anyone gets all in a lather about me quitting to
avoid impeachment, or to avoid prosecution or something, let me
assure you: There's been no breaking of laws or impeachable
offenses in this office.

The reason I'm quitting is simple. I'm
fed up with you people. I'm fed up because you have no
understanding of what's really going on in the world. Or of what's
going on in this once-great nation of ours. And the majority of you
are too darn lazy to do your homework and figure it out.

Let's start local. You've been sold a
bill of goods by politicians and the news media.

Meanwhile, all you can do is whine
about gas prices, and most of you are too darn stupid to realize
that gas prices are high because there's increased demand in other
parts of the world, and because a small handful of noisy idiots are
more worried about polar bears and beachfront property than your
economic security.

We face real threats in the world.
Don't give me this 'blood for oil' thing. If I were trading blood
for oil I would've already seized Iraq 's oil fields and let the
rest of the country go to heck. And don't give me this 'Bush
Lied...People Died' crud either. If I were the liar you morons take
me for, I could've easily had chemical weapons planted in Iraq so
they could be 'discovered.' Instead, I owned up to the fact that
the intelligence was faulty.

Let me remind you that the rest of the
world thought Saddam had the goods, same as me. Let me also remind
you that regime change in Iraq was official US policy before I came
into office. Some guy named Clinton established that policy.
Bet you didn't know that, did you?

Now some of you morons want to be led
by a junior senator with no understanding of foreign policy or
economics, and this nitwit says we should attack Pakistan , a
nuclear ally. And then he wants to go to Iran and make peace with a
terrorist who says he's going to destroy us. While he's doing that,
he wants to give Iraq to al Qaeda, Afghanistan to the Taliban,
Israel to the Palestinians, and your money to the IRS so the
government can give welfare to llegal aliens, who he will make
into citizens, so they can vote to re-elect him. He also thinks
it's okay for Iran to have nuclear weapons, and we should stop our
foreign aid to Israel. Did you sleep through high school?

You idiots need to understand that we
face a unique enemy. Back during the cold war, there were two major
competing political and economic models squaring off. We won that
war, but we did so because fundamentally, the Communists wanted to
survive, just as we do. We were simply able to out spend and
out-tech them.

That's not the case this time. The soldiers of our new enemy
don't care if they survive. In fact, they want to die. That'd
be fine, as long as they weren't also committed
to taking as many of you with them as they can. But they are. They
want to kill you, and the bass tards are all over the globe.

You should be grateful that they
haven't gotten any more of us here in the United States since
September 11. But you're not. That's because you've got no idea how
hard a small number of intelligence, military, law enforcement, and
homeland security people have worked to make sure of that. When
this whole mess started, I warned you that this would be a long and
difficult fight. I'm disappointed how many of you people think a
long and difficult fight amounts to a single season of 'Survivor.'

Instead, you've grown impatient.
You're incapable of seeing things through the long lens of history,
the way our enemies do. You think that wars should last a few
months, a few years, tops.

Making matters worse, you actively
support those who help the enemy. Every time you buy the New York
Times, every time you send a donation to a cut-and-run Democrat's
political campaign, well, dang it, you might just as well Fed Ex a
grenade launcher to a Jihadist. It amounts to the same thing.

In this day and age, it's easy enough
to find the truth. It's all over the Internet. It just isn't on the
pages of the New York Times, USA Today, or on NBC News. But even if
it were, I doubt you'd be any smarter. Most of you would rather
watch American Idol or Dancing with Stars.

I could say more about your
expectations that the government will always be there to bail you
out, even if you're too stupid to leave a city that's below sea
level and has a hurricane approaching.

I could say more about your insane
belief that government, not your own wallet, is where the money
comes from. But I've come to the conclusion that were I to do so,
it would sail right over your heads.

So I quit.
I'm going back to Crawford.
I've got an energy-efficient house down there ( Al Gore could
only dream) and the capability to be fully self-sufficient for
years. No one ever heard of Crawford before I got elected, and as
soon as I'm done here pretty much no one will ever hear of it
again. Maybe I'll be lucky enough to die of old age before the last
pillars of America fall.

Oh, and by the way, Cheney's quitting too.
That means Pelosi is your new President. You asked for it.
Watch what she does carefully, because I still have a glimmer of
hope that there are just enough of you remaining who are smart
enough to turn this thing around in 2008.

So that's it. God bless what's left of
America .

Some of you know what I mean. The rest
of you, kiss off.

PS - You might want to start learning
Farsi, and buy a Koran.

T Wolf, Good post. I'd like to read the original text of that speech. See if you can PM it to me. Thanks, Chopper.

Some ones got a good imagination.

I think W would have it about right if he gave that speech.....Bob

Chopper, you have a PM from me. Not sure if the photo's of Bush speaking came through. They were placed in between paragraphs.

You can't get much closer to the truth if he actually made that one. We are all in for a world of hurt now folks. Of course, when the economy turns around, because that is what a capitalist econnomy does, the Democraps will take full credit for it but when it comes crashing back down again because of the socialist ideas and oversight the Dems put in place, they will again blame the right wing Republicans. I say right wing Rebublicans because the party of Reagan has been taken over by liberal wolves in sheep's clothing.