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Originally posted by Your Old Dog:
It was a cold day in hell. Through the early morning mist I could see the Partridge frolicking in the distance. Next to them the deer were lazily wondering across the meadow with their noses buried in clover but keeping an ever vigilant lookout for danger. Across the other side of the meadow the sound of a chain saw could be heard. Strange, it was daybreak and someones out with a chain saw? Could it be that dude from Texas with the hockey mask? Nah, it was just me.... (okay, got the hook out of the way now I can continue)

I was seeking the thrill I knew from my 750 Kawasaki twin road bike. Every time the light turned green I got my monies worth from that bike in cheap thrills. I went to the Yamaha store and looked at some 250 dirt bikes that I thought would carry me down to the trout stream way out back. But at the age of 59 1/2 my balance and general health picture wasn't all that it should be. While my balance wasn't, my check book was backed up by a 401k plan that was healthy! I then looked at some ATV's and was undecided until I mentioned it to my friend. He said his son had just got an advertising account with Bombardier on their ATV's. I didn't know they made ATVs but certainly knew of their engineering reputation in other areas. I didn't care about the money, my 401k would pay for it and when I was done with it I expect to get a good part of my money back from when sold.

It has fulfilled that urge for me. I got the 650 Max XT Outlander. When I shove that thumb forward and cut loose the ponies it fills me with exhilaration as I fight to hang on. I weigh 250lbs. The first mile I rode it I went down to the creek out back. I dropped over a ledge to start down when I realized what a mistake that was. I mean I felt like I was viewing the bottom through my knees. That's when I learned how effective the engine braking was, I damn near went over the handlebars.

Now it's time to come home and I had to go up. The hill/ravine is every bit of 45-50 degrees and at the top the farmers plow leaves a lip to the rim of the ridge that sort of aims you straight up.....or so it seems.

I double checked the machine over while I smoked an imaginary cigarette to make sure there were no surprises once I started my run. I put it in 4W and low range. My cajones were shrinking with each passing moment so I thought I'd better get going before I lost my nerve! I shoved my thumb forward and off I went. I rocketed up that hill for some 70 yards while picking my line through the rocks and ruts left behind by heavy rains. Then as I approached the top I noticed it. The angle changed dramatically against my favor due to plowing from the farmer! I was at the point of no return, either park it looking damn near straight up into the noon sun or grind my chin into the front luggage carrier and grin and bare it. I chose the latter. I shot out over the top of the field and had the presence of mind to get off the throttle just as I caught air. She squatted down easily on the cornfield and a second later when I realized I had survived I punched her one more time and once again she screamed and brought me home ahead of a shower of dirt! I must have looked like Haley's comet coming across the field!

After that ride, my wife refuses to ride with me anymore.

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I need to get the computer flashed, it likes to fart and burp when I first start it, and sometimes it takes 2 or 3 pushes of the button